In a Nutshell BE A LEADER  A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:  PRINCIPLE 1 Begin with praise and honest appreciation. PRINCIPLE 2 Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly. PRINCIPLE 3 Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.  PRINCIPLE 4 Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. PRINCIPLE 5 Let the other person save face.  PRINCIPLE 6  Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” PRINCIPLE 7  Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.  PRINCIPLE 8 Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.  PRINCIPLE 9 Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“MAKING PEOPLE GLAD TO DO WHAT YOU WANT.”  CHAP.30 Back in 1915, America was aghast. For more than a year, the nations of Europe had been slaughtering one another on a scale never before dreamed of in all the bloody annals of mankind. Could peace be brought about? No one knew. But Woodrow Wilson was determined to try. He would send a personal representative, a peace emissary, to counsel with the warlords of Europe. William Jennings Bryan, secretary of state, Bryan, the peace advocate, longed to go. He saw a chance to perform a great service and make his name immortal. But Wilson appointed another man, his intimate friend and advisor Colonel Edward M. House; and it was House’s thorny task to break the unwelcome news to Bryan without giving him offense. “Bryan was distinctly disappointed when he heard I was to go to Europe as the peace emissary,” Colonel House records in his diary. “He said he had planned to do this himself… “I replied that the President thought it would be unwise fo...

“HOW TO SPUR PEOPLE ON TO SUCCESS.”  Pete Barlow was an old friend of mine. He had a dog-and-pony act and spent his life traveling with circuses and vaudeville shows. I loved to watch Pete train new dogs for his act. I noticed that the moment a dog showed the slightest improvement, Pete patted and praised him and gave him meat and made a great to-do about it. That’s nothing new. Animal trainers have been using that same technique for centuries. Why, I wonder, don’t we use the same common sense when trying to change people that we use when trying to change dogs? Why don’t we use meat instead of a whip? Why don’t we use praise instead of condemnation? Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving. In his book I Ain’t Much, Baby—But I’m All I Got, the psychologist Jess Lair comments, “Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others...

https://www.rfpmm.org/pdf/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.pdf “TALK ABOUT YOUR OWN MISTAKES FIRST.”  My niece, Josephine Carnegie, had come to New York to be my secretary. She was nineteen, had graduated from high school three years previously, and her business experience was a trifle more than zero. She became one of the most proficient secretaries west of Suez, but in the beginning, she was—well, susceptible to improvement. One day when I started to criticize her, I said to myself: “Just a minute, Dale Carnegie; just a minute. You are twice as old as Josephine. You have had ten thousand times as much business experience. How can you possibly expect her to have your viewpoint, your judgment, your initiative—mediocre though they may be? And just a minute, Dale, what were you doing at nineteen? Remember the asinine mistakes and blunders you made? Remember the time you did this…and that…?” After thinking the matter over, honestly and impartially, I concluded that Josephine’s ...

“WHEN NOTHING ELSE WORKS, TRY THIS.”  Charles Schwab had a mill manager whose people weren’t producing their quota of work. “How is it,” Schwab asked him, “that a manager as capable as you can’t make this mill turn out what it should?” “I don’t know,” the manager replied. “I’ve coaxed the men, I’ve pushed them, I’ve sworn and cussed, I’ve threatened them with damnation and being fired. But nothing works. They just won’t produce.” This conversation took place at the end of the day, just before the night shift came on. Schwab asked the manager for a piece of chalk, then, turning to the nearest man, asked, “How many heats did your shift make today?” “Six.” Without another word, Schwab chalked a big figure six on the floor, and walked away. When the night shift came in, they saw the “6” and asked what it meant. “The big boss was in here today,” the day people said. “He asked us how many heats “The big boss was in here today,” the day people said. “He asked us how many heats we made, a...

In a Nutshell  HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING  PRINCIPLE 1 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.  PRINCIPLE 2 Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."   PRINCIPLE 3 If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.  PRINCIPLE Begin in a friendly way.  PRINCIPLE 5 Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.  PRINCIPLE 6 Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.  PRINCIPLE 7 Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.  PRINCIPLE 8 Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.  PRINCIPLE 9 Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.  PRINCIPLE 10 Appeal to the nobler motives.  PRINCIPLE 11 Dramatize your ideas.  PRINCIPLE 12 Throw down a challenge. WISH YOU ALL THE BEST. https://www.rfpmm.org/pdf/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.pdf An epilogue is a concluding section of a story or p...

“AN APPEAL THAT EVERYBODY LIKES.”  I was reared on the edge of the Jesse James country out in Missouri, and I visited the James farm at Kearney, Missouri, where the son of Jesse James was then living. His wife told me stories of how Jesse robbed trains and held up banks and then gave money to the neighboring farmers to pay off their mortgages. Jesse James probably regarded himself as an idealist at heart, just as Dutch Schultz, “Two Gun” Crowley, Al Capone and many other organized crime “godfathers” did generations later. The fact is that all people you meet have a high regard for themselves and like to be fine and unselfish in their own estimation. J. Pierpont Morgan observed, in one of his analytical interludes, that a person usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good and a real one. The person himself will think of the real reason. You don’t need to emphasize that. But all of us, being idealists at heart, like to think of motives that sound good. So, in orde...